BigPieMaker

Last week I went to the hospital for a gastroscopy, and that was the day I felt my dignity was the thinnest in my life.
The nurse handed me a pair of specially made examination pants with a hole at the back. I was waiting in the corridor wearing those pants, feeling a chill behind me, like a balloon ready to deflate at any moment.
When it was my turn, the attending doctor was a very serious old man. He was putting on gloves while chatting with me: “Young man, do you usually feel stressed?”
I was lying on my side on the bed, sensing the movements behind me: “Doctor, I don’t know if I’m un

Yesterday went on a blind date, and the other person was a girl who looked very quiet. To ease the awkwardness, I decided to show my sense of humor and love for life.
She asked me, “Do you have any money-burning hobbies?”
I didn’t think twice and, being honest, said, “I have rhinitis.”
The girl was stunned and asked how that burns money. I counted on my fingers and explained, “Look, I need to use a pack of tissues every day, and I also have to buy various nasal salts and sprays. The key is that the tissues have to be those with a cream content; otherwise, my nose will get chapped. Over a year,

A while ago, I decided to lose weight after some serious reflection and bought an extremely expensive smart body fat scale. The scale is very advanced; it can connect to your phone, and every morning it sends you an "inspirational voice" based on your weight change.
I stuck with it for three days, and every morning I heard: "Keep going! You weighed 0.1kg less than yesterday. You're the best!"
On the fourth day, I was so hungry I secretly got up in the middle of the night and ate half a roast goose, plus a bowl of snail noodles.
The next morning, I stood on the scale with a heavy and guilty hea

Last weekend, my kitchen drain was clogged, so I called a guy who looked very honest to come and fix it.
He brought a very long spring drain cleaner and went straight under the cabinet without saying a word. Due to the tight space, half of his body was twisting outside, and the scene looked extremely bizarre.
I squatted nearby handing him tools, and he operated while also imparting "life experience" to me:
“Boss, let me tell you, this pipe cleaning is like dating. You can't just force it; you need to find the right spot, gently poke around first to gauge the depth. If you feel resistance, don’

On Saturday, I took my girlfriend for a drive to run some errands. We passed by a car wash with a huge line of people waiting.
My girlfriend is a bit impatient. Seeing the guy washing cars, sweating profusely, she couldn’t help but get out of the car to urge him. Just then, she overheard the guy teaching his apprentice: “You need to be more careful! You don’t see it usually, but the water has to be rinsed thoroughly. If it’s not, the mud won’t break down. Also, don’t just focus on the top; those two holes at the bottom are the key. If you don’t clean them properly, it’ll make strange noises wh

I have a buddy who, in order to lose weight, decisively bought a yearly gym membership and also hired a very attractive personal trainer.
After a week of training, he called me, sounding strangely weak.
He said: “Bro, I feel like this trainer is targeting me. His demands every day are just too outrageous.”
I asked what happened.
He said: “Yesterday during squats, I really couldn’t hold on anymore. The trainer was right next to my ear, whispering: ‘Don’t stop, hold on for thirty more seconds. A man can’t say he’s not capable. If you give in now, all that half-hour warm-up earlier was fo

Driving home late at night, the driver remained silent with a pale face as white as paper.
I felt a bit uneasy and tried to make small talk: "Driver, it's so late to be out driving, isn't it tiring?"
The driver replied softly: "Sigh, no choice. I used to be an ambulance driver, used to working late at night."
I breathed a sigh of relief: "So you're a healthcare worker, my apologies. How did you end up switching to Didi?"
The driver turned his head and flashed a white smile at me:
"Because I found that, rather than saving lives, I prefer directly taking people to their destinations. B