I met someone, and I thought he lacked love, so I desperately tried to compensate for him. Later, I realized that the one who truly lacked love was not him, but myself. The way I love him was actually just the way I wanted to be loved. The care I imposed on him was merely my deep inner longing. I was always afraid he would be lonely, but in fact, I was afraid of being neglected. I always wanted to be with him, but in reality, I was craving to be remembered. We are always secretly satisfying our own expectations in the name of loving others, thinking we are healing the other person. In the end, we realize that the one who truly needs to be healed is ourselves. Those reckless efforts are just carefully projecting our missing love onto others because what you desperately want to give to others is often what you most desire yourself.
— "Rebuilding Yourself"
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I met someone, and I thought he lacked love, so I desperately tried to compensate for him. Later, I realized that the one who truly lacked love was not him, but myself. The way I love him was actually just the way I wanted to be loved. The care I imposed on him was merely my deep inner longing. I was always afraid he would be lonely, but in fact, I was afraid of being neglected. I always wanted to be with him, but in reality, I was craving to be remembered. We are always secretly satisfying our own expectations in the name of loving others, thinking we are healing the other person. In the end, we realize that the one who truly needs to be healed is ourselves. Those reckless efforts are just carefully projecting our missing love onto others because what you desperately want to give to others is often what you most desire yourself.
— "Rebuilding Yourself"