MARKET TALK AT THE DINNER TABLE:

Family: "Every holiday, you're obsessed with charts and patterns."

Me: "..."

Family: "Just pass the butter, will you?"

Me: "If it forms a cup and handle, we're looking at a bullish breakout coming..."

Family: "Come on, seriously?"

Me: "What? That's a consolidation pattern right there."

Family: "You need an intervention."

Me: "Sounds like a trading halt to me."