As a women in BD, you regularly get pitched for casual sex.

This is a real problem.

Here’s my experience and how I’ve coped 🧭

For the first 2 years, I wore my company t-shirt religiously like a military uniform. At a talk, during a pitch, or on the conference floor, you will never see me without it.

It worked to a certain extend. As the message cannot be more clear - hi, I am here to work. HOWEVER - because I am Asian and we look young to the untrained eye, with my tech worker , I was regularly passed over during BD events, or assumed to be someone unimportant at the company (I am the founder CEO). Once I even got ID-d. Another time hotel front desk flagged me when I walked in, trying to get valet parking - they must’ve thought I’m some confused high schooler who wondered in to the Ritz, where the event was held.

It still didn’t block all contact. The most extreme case - I had someone who approached me, appearing to want a job. He went on to message me every day on TG and called every other, taking up 40-50 hours of my total time. Maybe even more. At first, I had thought this was just a high profile high maintenance engineer who really enjoyed sharing his life when recruiting - dog, plant, first tattoo, childhood best friend, mom dad ex girlfriend. And I was willing to invest to mentor and build a connection. It wasn’t until I saw his messaging thread with another girl who’s romantically involved with him a year later, where he sent the exact content, did it hit me that he was, in fact, trying to flirt with me. It was a huge waste of my time.

After that, I started to enter more rooms with senior executives - Sony, Sega, Robinhood, etc. I realized that while very tech coded, looking like a high schooler was making me stand out in a strange way. We autists have a social sense too - just slow and very dull, but it’s there.

I switched strategy. From there on, I always made sure any event I attended, I had a male companion with me. It’s either my own BD team @nostratbeststra and @Web3LooterBowen, or someone I’d borrow from a trusted team, such as BD leads from Soneium or Sei. Fortunately or unfortunately - crypto events can be very vibe-y. We once attended a beachside swim and hang with the Ethereum foundation. It was one of the best events at ETH CC hosted by @jchaskin. It was also prime grounds for guys looking at girls in bikinis and asking for ig accounts. Having a trusted contact in these cases usually helps.
(@TatsuatTokyo from Soneium as seen in the photo!)

Usually, after these bad experiences, I have a mini breakdown, where I feel a pang of fear and anxiety, and end up acting out in one way or another. Sometimes it’s an angry aggressive pitch to a trusted friend (“invest and wire RIGHT NOW” or “I need your analyst, DONT FUCKING CARE”), other times it’s finding a gay person in the room and clinging on to them tightly. In any case - it’s not fun.

Alas, this is my experience. I don’t have a solution, but at least, I’ll talk about my problems.

Happy December!