Got carried away again today.

This morning I advanced myself 500 from my salary, couldn’t resist and opened a position. Made a few small wins in a row, watching my account balance jump to over 900, thinking this round was in the bag—then a single pullback wiped out 700 just like that.

My head was buzzing at the time. But my hands wouldn’t listen; I kept going all in trying to make it back. When I got to 300, another wipeout, and in the end I only had 100 left to withdraw.

I sat in front of my computer, staring blankly at the candlestick charts. The more I thought about it, the more unwilling I felt: am I really just going to accept defeat like this?

So I deposited another 300. This time, I learned my lesson a bit—cashed out as soon as it hit 800, forced myself to exit the trading interface.

Now that I’ve calmed down, I realize this mindset is really off. I know full well that trading contracts is like gambling, so why do I always think I can win? An ordinary person’s salary can’t withstand a few swings, but I still can’t help going all in for that “doubling dream.”

Sometimes I wonder: is it the market that drives people crazy, or were we never supposed to touch this stuff in the first place?