Breaking! The founder was dumped after trying to flirt his way with women—did the project’s funds go to buy Hermès? A hacker hid for 6 years, but was finally caught because of a txt file!

This week’s stories from the crypto world are more absurd than any script. Three seemingly unrelated segments piece together the most authentic human nature behind this industry: greed, negligence, and eternal mysteries.

The first story is about love, or rather, about fund embezzlement. Ben Pasternak, the founder of a project in the $SOL ecosystem that raised $40 million, has recently received mixed reviews. After the project’s popularity surged, he shifted his focus to pursuing a Korean-American internet celebrity with millions of followers, Evelyn Ha.

A platinum Hermès bag, extravagant spending, and intense couple videos became his new main business. Some users who experienced losses accused him of squandering resources and funds that should have gone to the project on the female influencer. The prophecy soon proved true: her sister group unfollowed her en masse, and Evelyn Ha was suspected of starting a new romance with a gaming streamer.

Ironically, some pointed out that her new boyfriend had revealed in an interview that he lost money on Ben’s project himself. The market joked with memes: the project failed, the girlfriend left, and you didn’t even get to go to Coachella. A more sarcastic comment was that the budget for buying Hermès might now need to be reallocated to buy back tokens.

The second story concerns security—a $3.6 billion oversight. The U.S. Department of Justice seized 94,643 stolen $BTC from a hacker named Ilya Lichtenstein and his wife. He successfully evaded FBI pursuit for six years.

The reason for his capture was simple and almost funny: he stored his private key in a plain file named “keys.txt” and uploaded it to Dropbox. Investigators obtained the file through legal means. A comment summed it up precisely: you can outrun the blockchain, but you can’t outrun a keys.txt.

This incident sparked widespread discussion about cloud storage security. Some decided to stop trusting third-party cloud services and moved to self-hosting. The hacker himself listed “serving time in federal prison” from 2022 to 2026 on his LinkedIn profile, claiming he continued studying mathematics and artificial intelligence while incarcerated.

The third story is the industry’s eternal mystery: who is Satoshi Nakamoto? Recently, a lengthy investigation by a well-known media outlet pointed fingers at British computer scientist Adam Back, based on historical emails, technical origins, language habits, and other details.

Many industry insiders questioned the conclusion. Adam Back has repeatedly denied it. If he is Satoshi, it means a 55-year-old scientist controls about 1 million $BTC, worth hundreds of billions of dollars—enough to make him one of the world’s top billionaires.

Community reactions vary widely. Some believe Satoshi is not an individual but a symbol formed by the initials of companies like “Samsung, Toshiba, Zhongdao, Motorola.” Others speculate it’s a false theory spread to create “exit liquidity.” Still, others think who Satoshi is no longer matters; his dormant massive holdings of $BTC are the market’s “ballast.”

Within a week, some lost love, some lost freedom, and others were forcibly assigned (or deprived of) a mythic identity. These stories didn’t directly shake the $BTC or $ETH price charts, but they silently outline the most fragile part of this market: human weakness.

Whether funds are focused, how private keys are stored, or how narratives are created and consumed—these are the risks and costs deeply embedded behind every chain and token.

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